recently,

It’s been a while for sure. Life without writing has been weird. I’ve been thinking of how my life used to be submerged in art, in being creative, and now I’m fighting myself every day to pick up a pen and paper to at least jot down some thoughts. Some days, I lose. I have been caught in the eye of the storm as of late. I don’t know if I should just go back the way I came or just close my eyes and keep walking through. Or should I just lay down in the middle because right now, I’m actually getting used to the feeling?

I feel like I don’t truly understand anyone anymore, and I fear that maybe I’ve been the one selfishly going about life, friendships, and relationships. I’ve been invalidating my feelings about situations and have forgotten to feel. For a second, I thought I was figuring all of this out. I thought I was figuring myself out, but then someone showed me that I know absolutely nothing. I wrote in my journal today, “I know nothing about nothing.” That feeling really has been the reason why I’ve been stuck in my own head and in deep thought about every single thing.

Had I truly known the different layers of people? Had I truly known my own? I read somewhere (source: trust me bro) that sometimes, there are blind spots in our own personalities and how we’re perceived. Sometimes, we truly can’t see how people see us. No matter how hard we try, some people simply will see us for who we are… or who they want us to be. Another reason why I think all of this to be confusing.

This is a short one today, but I think I’ll go into further detail next time.